Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Tears of Joy

Today I had one of those days where I felt like crying most of the day.  No, I didn’t have an emotional breakdown or a bad day.  Nothing went wrong.  It was that everything went so right – that it always goes so right.  There is profound beauty in my everyday routine.  Each and every day, my life is filled with more blessings than I could have ever thought possible!  Here are a few of the things that brought the satisfying sting of tears to my eyes.


The African Sun
When I start drinking my coffee at 6 o’clock each morning, it’s still dark.  Then just as my eyes are starting to work (thanks coffee!), the sun starts to emerge in all its majesty o’er the top of the convent, and the sky lights up in soft yet brilliant shades of pink and purple.  Before I came here, I had never seen such a beautiful sunrise, and now I start every single day with God smiling at me through the sky.  It takes my breath away every time, still, after a year here.

I say the rosary with the kids outside each evening as the sun sets behind the school.  It’s stunning!  Captivating.  The colors are indescribable.  Such a magnificent sight either elicits an inspired reflection on life or washes away all my thoughts entirely.  I end each day in peace, with a visible reassurance of God’s hand on this place.



Santo’s Affection
Santo has mental disabilities that prevent him from going to school or having many friends, but make him one of the most special kids I know.  He probably spends 85% of his waking moments at Don Bosco, so I run into him at least 5 or 10 times a day.  Every time he sees me, he screams my name and sprints to hug me with his head cocked to the side and a huge sideways grin plastered across his face.  And I mean every time.  In 14 months, there has not been a single interaction in which he has greeted me with anything less than exuberant adoration.  I have sometimes disregarded him with impatience or even annoyance, but never has he returned the unkindness.  He is perfect at love.  Through him, Christ embraces me all throughout each day.




“Sister, MEEEE!”
This is whined at me day in and day out by hordes of small children competing with each other for whatever resource I am giving out (usually my energy).  I could do without the whining tone and the grabbing/pulling/poking, but I love that they want to be around me all day every day.  They see something in me that attracts their pure little hearts.  Each time I hear that whine, I remember how lucky I am to have the opportunity to give them the love that they seek.  It’s an incredible gift to be here for children who are reaching for me.




How could anyone get mad
at these little nuggets?
The Kids Take My Stuff
Camera, ipod, crayons, pens, shoes, keys, eyeglasses… There are many things I have that the kids are not allowed to touch without my expressed permission.  They take them anyway.  It’s happened multiple times this week alone that my camera has gone missing because a student walked off with it.  I tell them it’s not good to do that, but I can’t get mad.  I think it’s a beautiful testament to how free they feel with me, how close we are.  It’s inconvenient when I can’t find my stuff, but I love the feelings and friendship behind it.




My Office
Every time I walk into my office or look around when I’m sitting at my desk, my heart swells.  The walls are completely covered with pictures the kids have drawn for me.  What a wonderful visual reminder of the outpouring of love I receive from them!

All the kids passing my office see this through the open door.
“I love you!”
Where else in the world can a teenage boy publicly tell his teacher that he loves her from the depths of his soul, and everyone knows that it’s as innocent as it is genuine?  The special thing about Don Bosco is the free exchange of deep love.  The kids know how loved they are.  They know it all the way into their souls.  In turn, I am reassured of their love for me about 50 times a day, no exaggeration.  They shout it, sing it, whisper it, and dance about it all day long.

Christ’s Leadership in Others
I now have 3 site partners who teach me daily how to love.  There’s nothing I enjoy more than witnessing a tender moment between one of them and a child.  I am touched when I see Ariel sitting after school with a gifted student to give him extra challenging work and attention, or Theresa making a boy’s day by yelling his name in the special way he loves.  It moves me to see Grace with the Daughters of Mary, teaching them a prayer dance, laughing with them, or just holding one’s hand.  I am in awe of their patience, compassion, enthusiasm, and holiness.  They truly live this mission, and I am a better person each day because of them.

      

  

Of course there are challenges and frustrations in my life.  Difficulties arise sometimes that stop me in my tracks, and my attitude is not always 100%.  But the thing is, the little miracles that sprinkle each day make me realize how perfect God’s plan is for me and this beautiful place.  Because of that, because of His presence here, there is no exotic island that could compare to South Sudan, and no human creation that could rival this paradise.  I am living in Heaven on Earth.

4 comments:

  1. Beautiful post, Cait! May God bless you always, and in all ways.

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  2. I love the sign on your desk :-) I love all sorts of things about this post. You push me to become a better me. Thank you, Cait.

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  3. I have no doubt that you have been a display of God's love to Grace for the last year and are being that now for Ariel and Theresa -- and of course also for the kids, as is evidenced by their reactions to your presence. May God keep you in his love!

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  4. Caitlin! Your reflection on "Santo" was beautiful! I work with children with disabilities and it's a reminder that not all children have the same access and support. I'm sure you are truly a special person to him!!! :) Be well!

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